I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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