rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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