Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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