help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
