You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
