I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
