There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
