I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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