Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
