she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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