I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
