Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize