It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
