This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
