Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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