The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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