I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
