Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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