I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
