I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Found the puke drawer
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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