I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
