STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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