Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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