It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
