Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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