have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Randomize
