my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
