OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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