I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
