The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
