also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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