is your mom at the bar?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
