worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
