Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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