STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
