Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
