He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
