Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
