Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
