it wasn't lemon gatorade
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
