I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
