just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
