Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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