i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
