My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize