I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
