Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
