"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
