I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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