Christians are straight up FREAKS
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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