Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
