Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
