I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
