In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
