Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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