honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize