i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
