eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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