Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
