Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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