Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
