I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
