This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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