is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
