Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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